THE RANGE ROVER MAN AND HIS LADY

THE STRUGGLES OF A NIGERIAN GRADUATE (PT 5)

I heard the voice of a panting man behind me and I turned around to know whose it was because it sounded so close. My eyes met the face of a man with a lot of scars. He had this rough look. I fixed my eyes at his to know his reason for running after me. He goes,

"My driver and I have been calling you. You refused to answer us. Why? "

I had this look crazy look on my face. I call it crazy for lack of no better word to use, and because it got people looking at the man and I. He reiterated,

"I said my driver and I have been calling you from the range rover packed over there, but you refused to answer us."

I still had the crazy look on my face. I was trying to make a meaning of the situation while I had my eyes on his eyes. Then the range rover man said,

"You look scared. Why?"

I practically lashed out at him.

"Oga, I don't understand what is going on and what is it you want from me." He smiled at me patronizingly and replied, “This girl, you are too scared oo. Anyway, my name is Ebuka, I live in Port Harcourt but I just came into Owerri. I work with Shell. Have you been to my office before?"

I concluded that either the guy was mad or my senses were raving. Anyway, at the mention of Shell, I looked at his shoes. They were old and the color was fading- he hadn't smelt the perfume of the security men who work Shell his entire  life; I deduced that myself.

I think the crazy on my face increased because people were almost stopping to know what was transpiring between me and the range rover man. I looked at him and calmly asked, "so what do you want from me?"

"I came into town to inspect the hostel they are building for me. Let's go into my car. I don't want kidnappers to kidnap me. I've been kidnapped in Owerri before."

"I'm going to church. I can't go to your car."

"You will go to church in Jesus name. Let's get into my car and we can drive to anywhere. Hurry, I'm conscious of kidnappers." By this time, I was getting choked by the lies.

"Oga, did you hear me? I said I'm going to church and I'm going now and I'm not going into your car."

He smiled and asked me, "Are you married?" Where are you from?"

"No, I am from Imo State."

As I made to walk away from obviously a time wasting activity, he asked for my number. He had his phones in hands, none of them a smart phone. I asked him to type mine into his phone. He insisted that I bring out my phone, give to him so he would type his number into my phone. He said, "I want you to flash me when you get home." I looked at him again and tried to imagine what sick game he was playing this time since the first hadn’t worked. He finally agreed to type mine on his phone. As I walked away, I couldn't help asking myself over and over again, "what is wrong with men?" Is that part of the revised curriculum on how to get us girls?

 For the record, I didn't see any range rover.