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First time mommies, let me have a small laugh at you. Old school mommies, let me drive you down the memory lane a bit.
Remember the first day you brought your baby home after delivery? Remember how long baby slept that day? Only God knows how many times I felt for Ozi's breath to know if she's still alive. I called my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law, my mom and was crying on the phone. They all did their best to calm me down. For where? As far as I was concerned, something was wrong. How could a tiny human being sleep that long or better put, go that long without food?
Now in this my second birth, I know what to expect. As a matter of fact, my baby didn't sleep well the first half of that Saturday (a day after we returned from the hospital) and I kept asking her where she kept her beauty sleep 😀 . I wasn't burping her properly and so she was very discomforted until I corrected my mistake. Experience is indeed a great teacher. At the same time, experience can also be a set back.
Why am I saying this? Recently, I've been hearing about a few mothers losing their babies in the womb and it breaks my heart. Second time, third time, fourth time and infact multiple times mothers have a way of thinking- that they have gone on this journey before and know what to expect, forgetting that each pregnancy and delivery experience is different. I'm also guilty of this and so I'm taking corrections. It took me long to start my antenatal classes because I thought I knew it all and that taking my pregnancy vitamins solves it all. But they evaluated me when I started and there were a few concerns which were handled.
Back to my story. A friend of mine developed gestational diabetes in her second pregnancy. For most women, it goes away after delivery but hers didn't. She took in for another one and miscarried. It was her first miscarriage. Because she hadn't gone to the doctors, she couldn't ascertain why she lost the baby. Thankfully, she's pregnant again and is been taken care of by good hands.
There in the hospital as I went to deliver, a lady was screaming her life away. I was already in labor but I managed to hold it in (I learnt on time to not scream during labor. I save my strength for the push). Infact, her screams were putting me in more distress and so I left the ward and began to walk around the hospital compound. She lost her pregnancy of four months and the baby had to be evacuated. It was her third, she has two kids. Because she hadn't started antenatals, no one could say for sure why the baby died. According to her, the pain she experienced was two times of labor pains. That is pains beyond words.
In the next room, another lady also lost her baby and also went through evacuation. Her own is so bad because she's still in the hospital as her people are running around to clear the huge hospital bills. She nearly lost her life and was rejected by several hospitals before coming to the hospital where we met. The story is still the same. No one knows why the baby died because she wasn't being checked.
I know things are hard in Nigeria right now and hospital bills are a scare but we need to do the right things. Space out the kids so you would be adequately prepared to care for them. Go for antenatals on time. Go to hospitals that are well equipped to care for you and your baby. Use health insurance, it makes hospitals very very cheap (I didn't use it because the first place I registered for antenatals said they don't accept it but I saw those who used it to deliver; they pay next to nothing).
Life happens but there are some preventable pains. What's the point in going through that pains and not carry your bundle of joy?
